Some of you have met me. A few of you know me. And fewer still have intimate knowledge of my daily life. It’s not a matter of limits or privilege, it’s really about time spent.
I am Sheila. I am a daughter, a mother, a wife, and a friend. You may have only interacted or seen me in a couple of those rolls, but in truth, all describe me. I am fully a daughter, fully a mother, fully a wife, fully a friend. You see, you cannot remove one without removing all–for that would be impossible…and preposterous. I am who I am–all of me. And if you know me in any one of those rolls, you are actually interacting with all of me.
Mentally speaking, I’m a sorter, a filer, a pigeon-holer. Everything needs to “fit” in order for my brain to be comfortable. In short: I need to know. Yet, admittedly for decades, I struggled with the “filing order” of God. You see, I would constantly second guess in the middle of praying on whether this request, or that, should be addressed to The Father? The Holy Spirit? Jesus?? I was continually trying to reason the filing order: Father, Jesus, Holy Spirit? Or Jesus, Holy Spirit, Father? Holy Spirit, Jesus, Father?? You get the picture.
But even in this muddled mess in my brain, the Lord helped me to see Him.
I knew Deuteronomy 6:4: “Hear, O Israel, The LORD our God, the LORD is One”. And yet I perceived the vacillation of triune in my spirit. Sometimes I felt the Father. Sometimes, it was the Holy Spirit my Counselor tending to me. And yet, at other times I would have an overwhelming sense of Jesus my Redeemer. It wasn’t until I saw the truth in the parallel of my mere existence that peace rested in my human reasonings.
God is ALL, and IN all, who truly believe in Him. Not 1 out of 3, 2 out of 3, or any other combination–ALL. And He is magnificently more complex than I can fully comprehend! How can I “sort” in vivid detail One I have never seen, yet know SO well? But that was what I was attempting to do:
God before creation. Word made Flesh. Creator of ALL. Healer. Mender. Sustainer. Protector. Giant Slayer. Moses Maker. Leader. Provider. Bread. Counselor. Defender. Mighty Warrior. Redeemer. King of Kings… The list is eternal!
Yet in the middle of my list-making, in that familiar still small voice, I hear: “Who do you say that I AM?”
My sheepishly, yet somehow bold, unlearned reply: “You are The Christ! The Son of the Living God! Father, Redeemer, Counselor, Comforter, LORD, All in All, and my dearest Friend! You are JESUS! Christ IN me, the Hope of glory!!”
Immediately Peace settled over my “file cabinet”. Deuteronomy 6:4 was now personal:
Hear, O Sheila, The LORD your God is ONE!!
