When Ty and I first married, a battle began. In fact, a struggle for power has dominated the majority of our time together. At first, God did not heavily deal with me on this problem. (I’m convinced that’s because there were much bigger fish to fry.) However, over the last few years, He has begun to really convict me when I sass-mouth, boss, nag, or complain to my husband about the decisions he makes for this family. I love the Lord and my husband. My genuine desire is to be pleasing to God and a blessing to my husband. However, the fear of what godly submission might mean has detoured me from making much progress.
Well, over the last month, my heart toward the matter has changed. The Lord made it clear that godly submission does not make me a doormat. I knew it was time to trust God and allow Tyler to sit in the place of authority in our home. I have sincerely asked the Lord to help me love and submit to Tyler, but nearly every night before bed, I feel like a massive failure.
So one morning, I asked the Lord, “Please let me have ONE victory in this area. Give me the grace to handle a situation with Tyler correctly and see the positive result.” I figured if I could get a taste of success, it would fuel me to really pursue full obedience in this area. A week went by and, again, I was going to bed frustrated at myself for causing unnecessary strife. I remembered my prayer, and prayed it again, “Lord, PLEASE let me have a shining victory in the area of godly submission. I need your grace to do it, and I want to see the result of it. Amen.”
…
Last Friday, my husband had tentative plans to play golf with his buddy from work. He wasn’t sure if they wanted to go that afternoon or the following morning. Being a girl who likes a plan, I was annoyed that he was going to spring this decision on me last minute. I started to say something, but the following scripture came to mind:
“Wives, be subject (be submissive and adapt yourselves) to your own husbands as [a service] to the Lord.” Ephesians 5:22 AMP (emphasis mine)
I immediately determined that the Lord would cause Tyler to choose the time that was best for us and remained silent. After all, Jesus orders our steps and makes our way perfect. Several minutes later, Tyler asked, “Kaim, when would you prefer I go?” I honestly answered, “This afternoon.” “Alright, I’ll see what I can do,” he responded. On his way out the door, he took our daughter’s iPad and wrote a message to me. When C handed me the iPad, his message read, “I love you so much. You are beautiful.”
I was so touched by his gesture, and after he left, I pondered the irony. You see, on this particular day, I had been cleaning. When Ty came home for lunch, I was still in my workout clothes with no makeup, no shower, and my hair a mess. Needless to say, I did not look or feel beautiful. Regardless, something had compelled my husband to tell me I was. It was then that I realized….
HE DID IT!!! God answered my prayer!
Finally, I was submissive, didn’t nag, and trusted God to handle my schedule. The result? Tyler willingly asked for my opinion and paid me one of the best compliments a wife can receive. I had to journal about it—I didn’t want to forget the miracle that had occurred. As I jotted down the last line, “…You are beautiful”, the Holy Spirit reminded me of this scripture, and my heart leapt with excitement:
“This is how the holy women of old made themselves beautiful. They put their trust in God and accepted the authority of their husbands.” 1 Peter 3:5-6 NLT
That day, God performed two distinct miracles. One, He answered my prayer. (Thank you, Jesus, for answered prayer!) And, two, He put hands and feet to a scripture I’d never fully understood. You see, I was fooled into thinking that dressing nice would cause my husband to notice my beauty. How often I frustrated myself trying to have the right foundation, best haircut, perfect physique, and most flattering jeans. Yet, the answer for beauty was in God’s Word all along: trust God and accept your husband’s authority. When you do, your beauty will radiate from within, surpassing the sweaty clothes, bare face, and disheveled hair.
Getting purdier with each passing day,
Kaime
